The original illegal immigrants

There have been many waves of illegal immigrants to this continent, but one of the most notorious arrived

Not speaking the language,
Carrying many contagious diseases,
Having few of the skills needed for the existing society, and
Quickly established a criminal record.

Who were these invaders who would not score many points as proposed in the current immigration bill? Why, the Pilgrims.

They did not speak Algonquian, the language of the Nauset whose land they occupied.
Over half of them had died from various diseases,
They knew very little about farming,
They stole grain stores from the local people, and
Eventually they murdered many of the locals.

I guess I can't complain too much about them; both my wife and son-in-law are descended from them.

We want excellence in education?

Today we had our chimney cleaned by an ex-teacher. After 15 years of teaching English, he became a chimneysweep. He has less hassle, more fun, and more pay as a chimneysweep than he did as a teacher.

This says a lot of how much value we put on education in our country. Not that we should consider chimneysweeps as unskilled or performing an unneeded service, but that without highly-valued teachers, all other work is meaningless towards a better society.

The pH factor

When I heard a couple of guys in the fitness center mention a certain celebrity this morning, my stomach became acidic over such a base discussion. Even people who think she is non-news feel compelled to mention her, for example, Mallard Fillmore or current writer.

There is a certain herd instinct in people, in and out of the media, to make news where there is none or even provide more weight to certain people or ideas and less weight to other people or ideas, regardless of their true importance.

Political campaigns highlight this problem. The media reports on front-runners in polls and voters vote for front-runners. The polls become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wrote about this in "Reporting News or Making News", Reader Weekly, Nov. 9, 2006.

An unnecessary health care cost

I recently learned of a ridiculous health care cost driver - unnecessary paperwork!

I've worn contact lenses for over thirty years. I remember that the eye care people always want to be paid for the lenses before handing them to the patient; they never bill for them and insurance never pays for them. Such was the case when I picked up a new pair from an opthalmologist's office in a clinic.

I was therefore surprised when I received a notice from CMS (Center for Medicare & Medicaid Services) that the claim was denied and being sent to my Medigap insurer. I called the clinic billing office saying this claim should never have been sent because I had already paid it. The representative told me that it was being sent so they could have the denial. She didn't really want to hear that they should have already known the cost lenses were not covered.

This kind of legalism is adding costs to three entities: the clinic, Medicare, and my insurance company. Maybe if it only costs five dollars per claim per entitity, that adds fifteen dollars to the cost of the service. How many tens of thousands of these unnecessary transactions occur each week? Pretty soon we're talking real money!

A literalist went broke

A literalist went broke because he bought a new bottle of medicine everyday. He wouldn't use the previous day's medicine because the label said, "Do not use if seal is missing or broken."

Roadkill

How often have you seen a dead animal on the highway and thought how can people be so careless? Or, given the animal's position on the road, somebody must have deliberately hit it.

I've found out at least six times that sometimes these collisions are hard to avoid. In fact, sometime one's attempt at avoidance is counterproductive. I tried avoidance today in a small town at less than 35mph and left behind roadkill.

I have hit at least two birds, two squirrels, and two deer. And of course, thousands of insects.

The birds are the hardest to avoid. They swoop in front of one's car generally making it across or being carried by the airstream over the roof. Once, one bird clipped my car just above the windshield. Another time, a bird slammed into my radiator.

One deer walked across the highway right in front of my truck as if I weren't even there. It was dark and on a curve, and I didn't see her until she was in the opposite lane. One dead deer and $800 damage. Another kept changing its mind and would skid around to the opposite direction. I heard it click along the side of my truck. I could find no deer at the side of the road and could not even detect a scratch on the side of my truck.

Squirrels change direction more times than that deer did. I couldn't figure out how to avoid either of the two squirrels that I knowingly hit. In both cases I saw the squirrel bound across the street, and I slowed down. The squirrel would start back the way it came, change its mind and be between my tires, change its mind twice more, and then slam into or be hit by the passenger-side tires. As I looked behind, there was a gray corpse on the shoulder.

Interrupting the interrupters

Have you ever been telling a story to a group of people and have one or more interrupt you with a question, or worse have someone answer the question with your punch line?

I was in this situation this evening. I just stopped telling my story and didn't continue. Worse, nobody asked me for the rest of the story. Worse, others held forth for minutes on end with their stories.

My high school English teacher defined wit as what someone else had at the party that you have on the way home. How right she was.

After I got up from the table, I thought of the comeback to the interrupting question: am I telling a story or are we having a discussion.

The rights of one over the rights of the many

We are in Missouri which does not have a state-wide smoking ban. We chanced going to an Applebee's across the street from our hotel. We asked for non-smoking, but didn't see an ash tray in the place, not even at the bar.

We discussed this with our server. She said that Applebee's in general has a non-smoking policy but certain franchisees allow it, including her employer. However, she said, Monday smokers will be limited to a certain area.

My wife was enjoying a dessert when she smelled a cigarette. Shortly afterward I smelled it too. I quickly paid our bill, gulped my after-dinner drink, and we left. On our way out, we mentioned it to some staff and they were very sympathetic. They have to live with that day in and day out.

Newspapers going the way of buses?

Once upon a time, the U.S. had excellent streetcar and bus service. In many cities one rarely had to wait more than 10 minutes for a streetcar or bus. And then more people got cars. The car was more convenient and flexible. Fewer people took public transit. As few people took public transit, the service was cut back. As service was cut back, fewer people took public transit. As...

Once upon a time, the U.S. had many excellent regional and local newspapers. And then came television and the internet. The one encapsulated the news into soundbites for the lazy of mind and the other provided a treasure trove for the inquisitive of mind. Either way, fewer people subscribed to newspapers. As fewer people subscribed the newspapers cut back on services. As the newspapers cut back on services, fewer people subscribed. As...

What new Northwest Airlines?

"The New Northwest" is the headline in the business section of the Star Tribune, May 31, 2007. Is a new Northwest Airlines better? I doubt it.

My wife made a reservation for Toronto-Duluth because she would be able to stay on the same plane through Minneapolis-St. Paul. The previous time she made the trip her luggage didn't make the MSP-Duluth leg of the trip and had to be delivered the next day. So, thought she, having the same plane should solve that problem.

When she checked in at Toronto, she was told that she would have to change planes at MSP. This also meant she would have to walk to another concourse when she got there.

When she boarded the plane, the captain announced the plane would be flying through to Duluth. The crew hadn't even been told of the flight change!

When I checked for her arrival time prior to picking her up, the plane had left the gate about 25 minutes late but hadn't taken off. Just before I left the house I left the house 20 minutes later, the web site said the plane took off eight minutes after it left the gate.

When she got to Duluth I met her at baggage claim. We waited and watched for her bag to come down the chute. The baggage handlers stopped the chute and her bag wasn't there.

We are now at one hour after the original arrival time. We went to the checkin counter staffed by one person and waited our turn. The bag would probably arrive on the next flight which should arrive any minute. It was on that flight. We arrived home one hour and ten minutes after we should have.

My wife's advice for all fliers: always take a book.