What do you think of the Twins? Who had twins?

The title is a more culturally sensitive version of a reply to “What do you think of the Indians?”, meaning the Cleveland Indians.  That reply, censored here, was given by an adult I knew while in high school, an adult who didn’t have much interest in professional sports.

Then, I did, I rooted for the Cleveland Indians and the Cleveland Baron’s, a professional hockey team.

Going back to my elementary school days, I remember listening to Jimmy Dudley and someone else announcing the Indians’ games on WJW.  When I was in junior high I gave up a job in a grocery store at 60 cents an hour for the uncertainty of being a vendor at the Cleveland Stadium.  But I got to watch a lot of baseball games.

A couple of decades ago, I could still recite most of the usual lineup.  Now all I remember is Al Rosen at shortstop (whose name we took for our Class F team), Ken Keltner(sp) at third base, Larry Doby in right-field, and Thurston(?) something in center-field.  The only pitchers I can remember are Bob Feller, Bob Lemon (who sometimes hit home runs), and Don Black (who was hit in the head).  I may have also seen a game with Satchel Page.

I can still recite the names of the eight teams in each league.  In the American it was Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees, Philadelphia Athletics, Washington Senators, Cleveland Indians, Detroit Tigers, Chicago White Sox, and St. Louis Browns.  In the National it was the Boston Braves, New York Giants, Brooklyn Dodgers, Philadelphia Phillies (I had to think about that one), Pittsburgh Pirates, Cincinnati Reds, Chicago Cubs, and St. Louis Cardinals.  I don’t know how many teams there are now and who has moved where, except the Senators became the Minnesota Twins.

I rooted for the Cleveland Barons, mostly because my mother knew the wife of the hockey reporter for one of the Cleveland papers.  He would give us tickets once in awhile.  Those were the days when many players went bare-headed, but they high-sticked and slammed each other into the boards, and sat in the penalty box.

When I was in high school I went to most of the football games and basketball games but I don’t think I ever went to a school baseball game.  Some of the players and band members were my friends.  Like my wrestling career, the football team lost more games than they won.  With some of the same players, the basketball team went to the state championships a couple of times.  I think the difference was the coaches – one older and rigid, the other younger and flexible.

When I went to Case as an undergraduate, I went to few if any football or basketball games.  That was in part because I was a commuter student and had a grocery store job that occupied most of my Saturdays.  When I came back as a graduate student, I don’t think I had much interest.

When I went to Ohio Wesleyan University, I attended a few football and basketball games, but I just didn’t have that “school spirit”.

In my first five-year stay in Minnesota, I don’t remember attending any professional sports events.  I did play on a church softball team, but certainly was not a stellar player.

When I worked in Italy, many of my co-workers were enthusiastic soccer fans.  At World Cup time it was amusing to watch the bantering and betting between my Italian and German co-workers.  I still remember the cheer, “Dai Azzuri”, loosely, “Go Blues”, Azzuri being the name of the national team.
The last two sports events I remember watching on TV were the 1987 World Series and the Winter Olympics in Norway.

Living in Minnesota, of course we cheered for the Twins.  However, I remember feeling sorry for the Cardinals as they dejectedly walked off the field after losing the seventh game.  But, hey, Cardinal fans, think how far they did get!

I remember seeing the nighttime opening spectacle at the Oslo Olympics and watching some of the ski races.  Was that the Olympics that “La Bomba” (“the bomb”) was a highly rated ski-jumper?  I don’t remember how well he did, but he was something to watch coming down the chute and into the air.

Now I’m a very reluctant spectator.  My son-in-law is a big sports fan and watches many games.  When I visit during a game I go read a book or work on my laptop.

The Essentia Fitness Center forces its member to watch sports.  Last year they installed flat screen TVs in three places.  Two of them are on the Sports Center.  I do my best to ignore them, but it is hard when they are in my line of sight.  Thank goodness, the sound is not on to compete with the overly loud background music.  I’m sure my figures are wrong, but it seems that it is one minute of sports action, two minutes of discussing the action , and three minutes of commercials.  How many times must I watch “Flo the Progressive Girl”?

Also published in the Reader Weekly, 2014-02-06, http://duluthreader.com/articles/2014/02/06/2872_what_do_you_think_of_the_twins_who_had_twins

My illustrious second-rate sports career

As long as I can remember, I’ve done quite a bit of physical activity – from riding on the back of somebody’s bicycle at 3 or 4 to lots of snow shoveling this winter.  The first-named led to a bleeding ankle; the last-named led to a sore back.  Not all my physical activity has led to injury, but there have been quite a few “incidents”.

In between I’ve climbed trees, sledded, rode bicycles, played pickup games of baseball, touch football, and basketball, canoed, hiked, and a few organized sports.

In the summer of 1952, nine or more of the boys I hung out with formed a Class F Baseball team.  I sometimes pitched, sometimes played third-base, and maybe sat on the bench.  The most memorable incident was that I pitched a 0-1 no-hitter.  The other team got their run by a combination of walks and stealing.  This “feat” made it to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, but they misspelled my name as Melvyn MacGree.

Class F baseball still exists in Cleveland and is still sponsored by the Cleveland Baseball Federation.

In my first year of high school gym, I ran a “mile” in 5:12 and 5:19.  The coach suggested I join cross-country team.  I never made the cut for the seven that counted, just part of the crowd that might push some in the other sevens down in finish ranking.  In one race I did slow down to help one of our seven who had been hit in some way by an opposing runner.

I also joined the cross-country team in my second year of college.  But I didn’t do so well as I developed “shin splints”.  I got some therapy for them, but they plagued me now and then.

I did take a fitness class at a Y in my forties.  That included gradually increasing running distance.  I was proud of myself when I ran a mile in about eight minutes.

Now it’s a big deal for me to walk from my house to UMD.

A high-school classmate recommended that I join the wrestling team.  I did and managed to be the 133 lb. wrestler for a couple of years.  There was no one else in that weight class.  If there was, I generally won the wrestle-off for a meet.  I had a miserable record.  I was often taken down in less than a minute.  The coach selected five or so wrestlers to go to state, none me, of course.  Every year at least one of those guys won a state title.  My last year I had a better record, I think 4-3.  It should have been 5-2, but being a January starter, I graduated the night before my last allowed match.  Guess what lots of high-school graduates do.  At least, I lost on points rather than by a takedown.

I practiced with the Case Institute of Technology wrestling team.  I wrestled in intramurals at 147 for a fraternity I didn’t join.  The first guy was a well-muscled rock.  That was how he behaved.  When he had the down position, I could not budge him.  I even sat back on my heels to give my opponent a chance to move.  He didn’t.  When I had the down position he gripped me tight but made no move to get better control.  The score: 0-0!  I won a referee’s decision for being more aggressive. My second was with another team freshman.  This was a much more interesting match: 4-4.  Again, I won on referee’s decision.  The last match should have been the hardest.  I won 7-2.  However, I never made the cut to wrestle in a team match.

After I flunked out of Case, I went to Ohio Wesleyan University.  I wrestled once in the intramurals at 154 as an independent.  I really don’t remember any of the matches, but I won all of them.  I had practiced with team, but I never made the cut for a match.

I took up skiing in the early sixties.  I took a week off work to learn at Buck Hill.  After the class I did snow-plows on my own.  On one run I was heading straight for the lift.  My best tactic was to fall.  One ski came off, windmilled, and hit me below the knee.  My four-dollar ski pants have a hole in them!  There’s blood in there!  I’ll spare you more details, but the doctor put extra-padding on the stitches.  I did learn enough that week to move beyond the snow plow.

I do have many more ski stories, but I’m running out of space.  In the spirit of my “second rate” career, let me tell a bit about my amateur racing.  At Spirit Mountain, I qualified for going to the NASTAR nationals.  Why?  The top three in each gender-age-speed category qualify.  Since there were never more than three male racers in my age and speed category, I qualified five times.  I went to Park City in 2004 where I was 21 out of 23 and to Steamboat Springs in 2007 where I was 14 out of 15.  My times were about twice those of the winners!

I still have a season pass at Spirit Mountain, but I’m getting wimpy about when I go.  If the temperature is not above ten degrees Fahrenheit, I’m not too interested.

So, other than sporadic visits to the Essentia Fitness Center, my exercise is some woodcutting, some lawn-mowing, and some snow-shoveling.  Now I have a sore back from all this season’s snow shoveling.

Hey, when my back doesn’t bother me, I can do over 30 pushups!

Blasé about sports

When I was in high school in Cleveland, an adult I knew, when asked what he thought about the Indians, exclaimed, "There's Indians in town? Run for your lives!"

Now I have the same so what attitude toward sports. With the demands of the Minnesota Vikings to have the taxpayers fund a new stadium for them, I say,

The Vikings of olden times plundered states.
The Vikings of Minnesota plunder the state.

or "There's Vikings in town? Hang on to your wallet!"

Another argument I've seen is that the taxpayers of Minnesota are being asked to pay over a billion dollars to a billionaire for a bar for 50,000 drunks.

If so many are calling for governments to live within their means, why can't sports teams live within their means?