How did you get your heart attack?

Shoveling three feet of snow.

Why were you shoveling snow?

So the first responders could reach me if I had a heart attack.

As you can see, I did not have a heart attack.  These words of irony did occur to me as I shoveled our walk to the street.

Why did you shovel out to the street?

So the mail carrier can get to our house.

Has the mail carrier come yet?

No, she hasn’t.  But it is still early considering the conditions.

If she is delayed, won’t the snow fill in again.

Please, don’t make me think about it.  You’ll give me a heart attack.

State secret: Ronald Reagan changed his mind

Ronald Reagan had a heart attack at his California ranch.  Nancy called 911 and within five minutes the local Fire Dept. EMTs arrived.  They said, "We are from the government and we're here to help."  Both Reagans replied, "Thank goodness!"