Three persons needed for a good marriage

Doesn’t a marriage only need two persons?  Do I mean that the support of an in-law is required?

No, what I mean is that three personalities are required for a good marriage: you, me, and us.

Consider a couple living in a small apartment.  One likes to read, one likes to watch TV, and both like symphony concerts.  So sometimes the TV watcher should turn off the TV.  Sometimes the reader should ignore the TV.  And sometimes they both go to the concert together.

In other words, a good marriage needs recognition of separate interests and needs fulfillment of shared interests.

Spousal banter

My wife and I often follow certain traditional marital roles.  She does most of the cooking and cleaning, and I do most of the "heavy" lifting like lawn mowing and snow shoveling.

But not always.  Sometimes I cook and sometimes she shovels snow and often we help one another.

This evening while she was preparing dinner I ground coffee for after dinner.  When we were done eating, she said, "You may take the dishes to the kitchen, and you may bring the coffee to the living room."  I replied, "What?  I'm the lord of the manor and you're supposed to do what I say."  She went to the living room.  Oops!  The coffee is ready and I'd better go get it.

We've been friends, lovers, companions, combatants, and many other relationships for over fifty years.  Many times one decides to do something outside the house without much thought of the other's plans.  Many times we co-operate on planning an activity of a moment or for years.  Our vows did not include "obey".

What has sustained us in the give and take of daily life is knowing that the other is there "in sickness and health."