No, I am not like Scrooge who hated Christmas and all of its cheer. It’s just that it seems to be the same old, same old, and too much effort to decorate and to select presents.
When I was a kid, I looked forward to the toy catalogs in the Sunday paper. Gosh, I wanted that gas station set, and the chemistry set, and… Actually, all things considered I and my brother wound up with quite a pile of toys and books. As a parent, I enjoyed selecting toys and books that my children would enjoy. Even as a grandparent, I did the same. But now with half my grandchildren being adults, it seems all we do is come up with clever T-shirts or sweat-shirts. Or maybe a book or two.
And despite what the ads say about “perfect gifts”, I think that a gift card for a store that the recipients rarely enter is not a “perfect gift”. Nor is a $1,000 computer for somebody who already has one, especially in a family where the gift budget rarely exceeds the cost of the aforementioned apparel.
I once was a mall Santa. That was quite an adventure, but I never did it again or wanted to. Believe it or not, I was told I was the best Santa at that mall. Apparently, some of the others weren’t good actors or just didn’t like little kids.
I have all but given up on sending Christmas greetings. I just haven’t put any effort into selecting a different wintry picture for a card or newsletter. Just as I don’t really care about other people’s grandkids, I don’t care to burden them with what my grandkids are doing. Do I tell them that we have given up downhill skiing? My wife did write a bunch of cards this past weekend, but I didn’t even look at what she wrote.
For many years I made a fruitcake that definitely was not a door-stop. At the peak, I made 24 one-pound cakes each season. Maybe about ten years ago, it just was too much effort to order quality ingredients, cut the fruit and nuts, beat the eggs, stir in the flour and butter, mix the fruit and nuts in, and… There were a lot of disappointed people when I stopped making fruitcake. See the article list below for the recipe and more.
We haven’t put up a tree for years, even though we have hundreds of nice-looking balsam fir at our cabin. Partly because I’ve developed an allergy to balsam, partly I just don’t want to make the effort to select a tree, cut it, bring it back to Duluth, decorate it, then take it down, and haul it back to our cabin. But my wife still buys a wreath and hangs it by the front door.
For many years, we did a Julbord or Christmas Smörgåsbord. This was a five-course buffet, starting with herring, potatoes, and cheese, and ending with three desserts. All of it accompanied by snaps (aqvavit) and beer. I forget why we stopped. Although my wife did the bulk of the cooking, maybe I got tired of doing the shopping or just being on my feet for so long. Or maybe it was because one relative would only eat bread and nothing else until dessert.
I do get tired of walking by Salvation Army kettles. One year I bought a money order and put it in a kettle. I used a money order so that I wouldn’t get appeal after appeal in the mail for the rest of the year. This year, I just keep my pocket full of change. As I go in or out, I just grab some change without counting it: pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters. Maybe I should go back to dollar bills so that whoever counts all the change doesn’t have so much work.
But others are not going to give up their Christmas traditions because of my disinterest. And if someone says “Merry Christmas” to me, I will respond with a smile.
Now the real Scrooges are those who object to cashiers and other retail people saying “Merry Christmas”. Way back when I was a grocery cashier I found it repetitive, but I did it with a smile. But now some object because it is unfair to those who aren’t “Christians”. One should say “Happy Holidays”. For them, I have an Italian saying, “Ch’é paese vai, ch’é usanze trovi.” “Wherever you go, follow customs you find.” Or “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” I don’t believe in the words of Handel’s “Messiah”, but I enjoy performances of it for the music, and I certainly don’t make a fuss because of the words.
Tom Batiuk, who draws the comic strip “Funky Winkerbean”, is having a ball with excessive sensitivity to the words of Christmas music. The principal is vetoing song after song for the Christmas concert because somebody might be offended by the words. Somebody should tell those like the principal that “White Christmas” was written by a Jewish immigrant. The same guy that wrote “Easter Parade”.
For a list of some of my previous Christmas articles, see “Christmas blog links” at
http://magree.blogspot.com/2015/12/christmas-blog-links.html. Many of them are more upbeat than this.
Oh, by the way, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Also published in the Reader Weekly, 2015-12-16 at http://duluthreader.com/articles/2015/12./16/6409_a_note_from_scrooge
Showing posts with label perfect gift. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perfect gift. Show all posts
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Sunday, July 06, 2014
The Meaning of Meaningless Words and Phrases
As seen on TV
I think I saw this phrase about a week ago as I flung another of the countless flyers we get in the mail into the recycle box. So how does “As seen on TV” make any product better than any other product, whether seen on TV or not seen on TV. The actor John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt was paid to act out a script touting the features of the Okey Dokey Wonder Tool. Is the Okey Dokey company going to say anything about the faults of their Wonder Tool? Oh, they might have a small print disclaimer like “results may vary” or “not to be used by children under twelve.”
Did you, dear astute reader, catch my meaningless word - countless? I am going to weasel on that one and state that countless doesn’t mean without end; it means I am not counting them.
Almost endless
How are the uses of any product almost endless? Or infinite? No matter how many uses of a product you find, you will have found only a finite number of uses. If everybody in the world found found even more uses, they will still have found only a finite number of uses. If all future generations found even more uses, they will still have found only a finite number of uses. And when the sun explodes or burns out, the number of uses found will still be a finite number.
Seamless operation
I thought this expression had fallen out of use, but Apple CEO Tim Cook used it at the recent developer’s conference. He really should visit the online Apple User Community to find out how seamless Apple software is not. Especially how operations that were once simple and obvious have become complex and obtuse.
It seems to me that the more complicated software becomes, the more glitches and operational quirks there are. Sure, I can do a lot more with computers than I did even five years ago, but I have an even longer list of problems that I haven’t found a round tuit to resolve.
Perfect gift
This “omniscient” phrase appeared in dozens of ads for hundreds of products before Father’s Day. “Just what Dad wants.” First, how do these advertisers even know what each and very father wants? Second, this father really didn’t want any of the products advertised. Third, our family doesn’t give gifts on Father’s Day. Fourth, our family doesn’t celebrate Father’s day. Fifth, this curmudgeonly father doesn’t even care.
Business friendly
Many judge cities and states on how “business-friendly” they are. That is, are taxes low, are subsidies given for relocation, are environmental laws relaxed? Rarely are cities and states judged by the “business-friendly” crowd as to how well the police and fire departments operate, how good the roads and utilities are, and how willing people are to move for reasons other than being moved there by the new or expanding company.
“Business-friendly” often means “corporate-friendly”. Local businesses are often the losers when a corporation moves in. What happened to the local stationery store when Office Depot moved into downtown Duluth? How many other local businesses were disrupted? How long did Office Depot stay in downtown Duluth? More and more chain drug stores have been opened in Duluth. When was the last time you visited a locally-owned pharmacy?
The good news is that there are still several locally-owned businesses in Duluth. Be truly business-friendly and support them with your business.
Voters decided/Investors decided
I wish journalists would stop using these sweeping generalizations to describe the choices of a minority. I’ve written over and over how a minority of eligible or even registered voters chose the eventual winners of an election. When it comes to “investors decided”, the proportion of “deciders” is a tiny fraction of “investors”.
First, how often are the “investors” day-traders? Second, how often are the “day-traders” computers programmed to look for the tiniest advantage?
The real investors are those who buy and hold for years. They invested because they believed in the purpose of the company, because they perceived long-term growth, or because they wanted steady dividends. These investors are not deciding the daily gyrations of the stock markets.
Conservative and liberal
It seems these terms have devolved into if you are one of these then you are on the good side and the other is the bad side. Conservatives have devolved from those who deliberated carefully to those who believe in a long list of bullet points, even if some of these are contradictory, like abortion is bad and war is good. Liberals have devolved from those who were generous to those in real need to those who support a long list of groups who they see as disadvantaged.
The “conservatives” have managed to put the “liberals” on the defensive.
Maybe someday we will once again have more conservatives like Ross Douthat and David Brooks and liberals like Paul Krugman and Eugene Robinson. These and several others in government and journalism look at the “big picture” rather than narrow interests.
Mel would have visited three locally-owned businesses the day he wrote this, but he wimped out when the wind blew dust on his contact lenses.
Also published in the Reader Weekly, 2014-07-03 at http://duluthreader.com/articles/2014/07/03/3656_the_meaning_of_meaningless_words_and_phrases
I think I saw this phrase about a week ago as I flung another of the countless flyers we get in the mail into the recycle box. So how does “As seen on TV” make any product better than any other product, whether seen on TV or not seen on TV. The actor John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt was paid to act out a script touting the features of the Okey Dokey Wonder Tool. Is the Okey Dokey company going to say anything about the faults of their Wonder Tool? Oh, they might have a small print disclaimer like “results may vary” or “not to be used by children under twelve.”
Did you, dear astute reader, catch my meaningless word - countless? I am going to weasel on that one and state that countless doesn’t mean without end; it means I am not counting them.
Almost endless
How are the uses of any product almost endless? Or infinite? No matter how many uses of a product you find, you will have found only a finite number of uses. If everybody in the world found found even more uses, they will still have found only a finite number of uses. If all future generations found even more uses, they will still have found only a finite number of uses. And when the sun explodes or burns out, the number of uses found will still be a finite number.
Seamless operation
I thought this expression had fallen out of use, but Apple CEO Tim Cook used it at the recent developer’s conference. He really should visit the online Apple User Community to find out how seamless Apple software is not. Especially how operations that were once simple and obvious have become complex and obtuse.
It seems to me that the more complicated software becomes, the more glitches and operational quirks there are. Sure, I can do a lot more with computers than I did even five years ago, but I have an even longer list of problems that I haven’t found a round tuit to resolve.
Perfect gift
This “omniscient” phrase appeared in dozens of ads for hundreds of products before Father’s Day. “Just what Dad wants.” First, how do these advertisers even know what each and very father wants? Second, this father really didn’t want any of the products advertised. Third, our family doesn’t give gifts on Father’s Day. Fourth, our family doesn’t celebrate Father’s day. Fifth, this curmudgeonly father doesn’t even care.
Business friendly
Many judge cities and states on how “business-friendly” they are. That is, are taxes low, are subsidies given for relocation, are environmental laws relaxed? Rarely are cities and states judged by the “business-friendly” crowd as to how well the police and fire departments operate, how good the roads and utilities are, and how willing people are to move for reasons other than being moved there by the new or expanding company.
“Business-friendly” often means “corporate-friendly”. Local businesses are often the losers when a corporation moves in. What happened to the local stationery store when Office Depot moved into downtown Duluth? How many other local businesses were disrupted? How long did Office Depot stay in downtown Duluth? More and more chain drug stores have been opened in Duluth. When was the last time you visited a locally-owned pharmacy?
The good news is that there are still several locally-owned businesses in Duluth. Be truly business-friendly and support them with your business.
Voters decided/Investors decided
I wish journalists would stop using these sweeping generalizations to describe the choices of a minority. I’ve written over and over how a minority of eligible or even registered voters chose the eventual winners of an election. When it comes to “investors decided”, the proportion of “deciders” is a tiny fraction of “investors”.
First, how often are the “investors” day-traders? Second, how often are the “day-traders” computers programmed to look for the tiniest advantage?
The real investors are those who buy and hold for years. They invested because they believed in the purpose of the company, because they perceived long-term growth, or because they wanted steady dividends. These investors are not deciding the daily gyrations of the stock markets.
Conservative and liberal
It seems these terms have devolved into if you are one of these then you are on the good side and the other is the bad side. Conservatives have devolved from those who deliberated carefully to those who believe in a long list of bullet points, even if some of these are contradictory, like abortion is bad and war is good. Liberals have devolved from those who were generous to those in real need to those who support a long list of groups who they see as disadvantaged.
The “conservatives” have managed to put the “liberals” on the defensive.
Maybe someday we will once again have more conservatives like Ross Douthat and David Brooks and liberals like Paul Krugman and Eugene Robinson. These and several others in government and journalism look at the “big picture” rather than narrow interests.
Mel would have visited three locally-owned businesses the day he wrote this, but he wimped out when the wind blew dust on his contact lenses.
Also published in the Reader Weekly, 2014-07-03 at http://duluthreader.com/articles/2014/07/03/3656_the_meaning_of_meaningless_words_and_phrases
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Perfect Gift?
Blah-blah Corp's Gift Card is the perfect gift?
A new printer/camera/smartphone is the perfect gift?
A new snowmobile is the perfect gift?
A box of nails is the perfect gift?
Perfect gift? For whom? Why? The advertisers have no idea who you are or to whom you want to give gifts.
The only perfect gift that I can think of is an end to violence all over the world. And most of us can only bring that in a tiny-tiny corner of the world.
And the only way I can give peace to you is as a wish.
"No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant. Take peace!"
- Fra Giovanni Giocondo (c. 1435-1515)
A new printer/camera/smartphone is the perfect gift?
A new snowmobile is the perfect gift?
A box of nails is the perfect gift?
Perfect gift? For whom? Why? The advertisers have no idea who you are or to whom you want to give gifts.
The only perfect gift that I can think of is an end to violence all over the world. And most of us can only bring that in a tiny-tiny corner of the world.
And the only way I can give peace to you is as a wish.
"No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant. Take peace!"
- Fra Giovanni Giocondo (c. 1435-1515)
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