Different rules for private and public pensions (and organizations too)

I recently received the annual funding notice of a company pension plan, a large company I worked at for almost twenty years.  Among other things, a new federal law allows companies to use more favorable interest rate calculations, thus having a smaller projected funding shortfall and a smaller minimum required contribution to the pension fund.

This is called the Moving Ahead for Progress in the 21st Century Act ("MAP-21").  To me it looks like progress for corporate bottom lines and regress for retirees' pension security.

For example, my former employer would have a funding shortfall under the older law of $1.3 billion.  Under the new law the shortfall would be $0.6 billion, less than half.  The required minimum contribution would have been $152 million.  Now it is $56 million, almost two-thirds less!

On the other hand Congress has really socked it to the Postal Service.  Search for

"post office" pensions

One I read was "Background on the $15.9 Billion Loss by the Postal Service".  Be sure to read the comments.

The Postal Service was required to significantly increase its reserves in its pension fund.  The Postal Service may only put those reserves in government securities, which pay significantly less than the securities corporations may use for their pension fund.

In short, the best Congress money can buy gave its supporters a big break on pension funds and threw stones at its favorite scapegoat.

One of the commenters to "Background" pointed out that the Postal Service is a Constitutionally-mandated organization.  I would add that the Constitution doesn't even mention private corporations.

Mitt and FEMA, ideology trumps pragmatism and sympathy

See "A Big Storm Requires Big Government", New York Times, 2012-10-29.

I wonder how Mitt Romney thinks massive disaster relief by private corporations would work.  "Before we rescue from your roof, would you please give us your credit card number?"  "Before we spray your house with water as the forest fire gets closer, would you please give us your credit card number?"  "Before we give you information about the hurricane's path, would you please…"

What is slower than the Postal Service?

Electronic fund transfers!  From one corporation to another!  In days, not hours!

On Tuesday I asked online for the cash balance of my brokerage account and the sales of some mutual fund shares, the proceeds of each to be transferred to my local checking account.  Neither transaction was confirmed until Wednesday afternoon.  My bank account did not show the deposits until eight o'clock Thursday.  About 46 hours after I had made my request, I saw the result.

Two days is what it takes to send in one Netflix DVD and receive the next!  In fact, the time from pickup to confirmation is less than 16 hours.  I am notified of the shipment of the next DVD about noon and receive it before 10 the next morning.  Hm!  With a 12:30 pickup and a 10:00 delivery, that's less than 46 hours!  A two-way transaction is faster than a one-way transaction!

The first is done completely by computers.  The second is done by a lot of hard-working people, both government and corporate.

Oh, yes, the last two DVDs have been from southwestern Wisconsin, not from Duluth.  Unbelievable, a Postal Service truck is faster than corporate computers!

Grover Norquist calls 911

Grover Norquist is frying a couple of hamburger patties in his kitchen when some grease spatters and is ignited.  He rushes to his phone to call for assistance.

Scenario One

Grover Norquist calls 911.  He receives a recorded message:

If you require government assistance, please look in Grover Norquist's bathtub.

Scenario Two

Grover Norquist calls his private fire company.  He is given the following list of instructions:

If you are calling about a cat in a tree, please press 1.

If you are calling about smelling gas, please press 2.

If you are calling about a medical emergency, please press 3.

If you are calling about a fire, please press 4. (Grover Norquist presses 4.)

If you are calling about a car fire, please press 1.

If you are calling about a brush fire, please press 2.

If you are calling about a chimney fire, please press 3.

If you are calling about a kitchen fire, please press 4.  (Grover Norquist presses 4.)

He hears the following message:

All our agents are busy.  Please stay online for our next available agent.

After a minute, Grover Norquist hears the following message:

All our agents are still busy.  Please stay online for our next available agent.  Your approximate wait time is five minutes. (This is repeated every minute.)

Finally after ten minutes, he hears in an Indian accent:

"Good evening, my name is Stephanie.  It is my pleasure to assist you this evening.  May I have your name and address?"

Grover Norquist gives his name and address.

"I am sorry, sir, but we have no record of a client named Rover Northlist."

Grover Norquist spells out his name.

"I apologize for getting your name wrong, sir.  My computer is searching for your account."

After a minute, the agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but we are having a typhoon and our connection to the Internet is slow."

After another minute, the agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but our records indicate that you have not paid your last two premiums.  We are not permitted to dispatch a crew when a client is in arrears."

Scenario Three

As in Scenario two, but Grover Norquist has paid all his premiums.  After the agent finds his account, she says,  "I'm sorry, sir, but our crew for your town is now at an apartment fire and it appears that they will be there all night.  Would you like me to check with our backup crew?  They are only twenty miles away."