Tonight at the Christmas Eve service I sang a solo of Sankta Lucia, in Swedish, by memory. I am not really among the good singers, but I keep striving. It is made somewhat more difficult when one is a poor musician married to a really good musician with a good ear.
Anyhow, with years of voice lessons and many repetitions of a song, I can give an acceptable performance. I have done five or six recital solos at the music conservatory and about three solos at church. All were politely received and sometimes better received.
In rehearsing Sankta Lucia at home, my wife had almost always found some error in my timing or pitch. The last day or two, she's remarked that I had improved. Today before the service I ran through it with the music director. Wouldn't you know, I forgot the words before I finished the first verse? Without looking at the score, I did remember them and tried again. The music director's only comment was that I rushed certain parts.
The moment of truth arrives. I am up in front of over 100 people all watching me. No music in my hands. No mike in front of me. The music director plays the opening bars, which I listen to intensely. I start. Oh, no! I don't feel on pitch. I keep plowing on. Think ahead to the words of the next phrase. Remember to take breaths. Hold the half notes long enough. Look at the congregation, scan from side to side, sometimes look directly at one person. My knees start shaking. Am I getting the high note correctly? A mere B below middle C, for crying out loud! I make it to the end and hold the last note longer. I pause and start to walk away. My wife is beaming. The music director is grinning. The congregation applauds. I turn back, bow slightly, and say thank you.
After the service, over a dozen people told me that they enjoyed my performance. I deliberately sought out a couple of really good musicians who were sitting in the back row. Did my voice carry well enough? They said they heard me clearly and complimented me on my performance.
What a high!
And I get to sing another solo on Sunday! What a way to end the year!
