An old joke about problem solving

The problem of Microsoft Outlook causing a disabling of the keyboard/trackpad made me think about an old joke about a tough automobile problem.  See "Computer withdrawal resolution continued".

Decades ago, an auto dealer gave his wife her choice of cars on his lot.  She happily drove away in a nice new model but was back in an hour because the engine was running so roughly.

The mechanics tested everything they could think of and found nothing.  She drove off again but was back again in another hour.  Same problem of engine running roughly.

The mechanics pulled out all their diagnostic manuals and tried all the suggestions.  Again, the engine ran quite well for them.  She drove off again but was back again in another hour.  Same problem of engine running roughly.

The head mechanic decided he should ride along with her.  When they got in the car, she pulled out the choke and hung her purse from it.

Modern cars have automatic chokes and we don't think about such things anymore.  We might if we have certain small engines that won't start unless the choke is pulled out, and we know once the engine is running, the choke has to be pushed in to get full power.

Who's a sexist?

At coffee and at the barber's I asked the one about the barber who shaved all the men in town who didn't shave themselves.  Who shaved the barber?  My barber answered, "the barber".  The usual response is that it is a contradiction; I've long held that the barber is a woman.

My barber replied with a man and his son were in a car crash.  The father was killed but the son was rushed to the hospital.  The doctor walked out of the operating room and said, "I can't operate; the patient is my son."  Who is the boy's father.  I replied, "The doctor is the boy's mother."

I told this to my wife when I got home, and she puzzled over an answer.

Auto nameplate humor

An English-born friend has lost most of his English accent, but he still retains some figures of speech.  One of these is "in hospital" rather than "in the hospital".

He drives a Ford Focus, and so I couldn't resist saying that he was "in Focus" or "out of Focus" when he was driving or not driving.

Yesterday I saw a certain Honda vehicle and thought of the following joke.

"I hear you've traded in your Ford for a Honda.  You're now out of Focus and in your Element."

Another of our coffee pals thought of the following after the Focus owner left.

"I hear you've traded in your Ford for a Nissan.  You're now out of Focus and in Infiniti."

A navy joke

After my umpteenth sneeze yesterday, I thought up this little joke. My wife thought it was lame, but when I told it to a Navy veteran today, he burst out with a laugh.

If a sailor retires and becomes a jerk, is he a post naval drip?