My wife and I often follow certain traditional marital roles. She does most of the cooking and cleaning, and I do most of the "heavy" lifting like lawn mowing and snow shoveling.
But not always. Sometimes I cook and sometimes she shovels snow and often we help one another.
This evening while she was preparing dinner I ground coffee for after dinner. When we were done eating, she said, "You may take the dishes to the kitchen, and you may bring the coffee to the living room." I replied, "What? I'm the lord of the manor and you're supposed to do what I say." She went to the living room. Oops! The coffee is ready and I'd better go get it.
We've been friends, lovers, companions, combatants, and many other relationships for over fifty years. Many times one decides to do something outside the house without much thought of the other's plans. Many times we co-operate on planning an activity of a moment or for years. Our vows did not include "obey".
What has sustained us in the give and take of daily life is knowing that the other is there "in sickness and health."
