If you believe in unfettered free markets…

I have some tulip bulbs for you.

If you believe in unfettered free markets, I have some mortgages to sell you. Trust me, they are all low risk.

If you believe in unfettered free markets, I plan to buy the lot next to your house and start a junk yard.

If you believe in unfettered free markets, I plan to buy the lot on the other side of your house and start raising pigs.

You say I can't do these. I can if I pay your neighbors enough for their houses and don't tell them my intent.

You say there are laws against my doing these things in residential neighborhoods. I thought you were for unfettered free markets. These laws are fetters on the free markets. Besides, if I make enough contributions to candidates that see things my way, then they'll change the laws in my favor.

Preposterous, you say. Not at all. It's happening with big corporations selling risky investments without giving you complete information (complete information being a requirement for a free market), putting up unsightly commercial buildings in residential neighborhoods, polluting our air and water, and making exorbitant contributions to candidates, parties, and "right"-minded think tanks.